They say good friends last a lifetime. But sometimes we lose those we thought closest. It’s important to learn how to deal with rejection from friends.
We’re all taught how to handle breakups, but sometimes being rejected by a friend can hurt twice as much. That is why I am going to show ways to pick yourself back and learn how to deal with rejection from friends.
When my two friends decided not to hang out with me anymore, I was depressed for months. I spent most of my time cuddling my dog in front of the fireplace and watching the news with my parents. It was a really shitty period for me.
Of course, I made it out of that depression, but was that the right way to handle it? To close yourself from the world for months on end? Probably not, but I didn’t know how to handle the situation. I just didn’t know what to do with my feelings. [Read: How to tell your real friends from your fake friends]
How to deal with rejection from friends
Now, I’ve been rejected before, usually by guys, but getting rejected from friends is something different. It’s not a romantic love, but these are people who are supposed to be the ones who love you for who you are and don’t have an alternative agenda.
They just spend time with you because you make them feel good and vice versa. Friends are supposed to be the ones that when your relationship with your partner is going through a rough patch or you break up, they’re there for you.
I know you’re hurting right now. Listen, it’s going to feel like this for a while. I can’t lie to you and tell you that you’re going to get over it tomorrow, but read these tips to help you learn how to deal with rejection from friends. Sadly, not all friendships are forever. [Read: 15 signs of a bad friend you always need to be on a lookout for]
#1 Time is everything. I know this sounds so cliche and I was always like, alright, thanks for that shitty advice, when I was first told that, but here’s the thing, it’s true. When you’re rejected not only is your heart broken, but so is your ego. Your ego once stomped on, turns into this fragile part of you and that takes time to heal as well. So, all in all, give yourself time. [Read: Good friends are like stars: How to build lasting friendships]
#2 How do you think about rejection? What is rejection to you? It may sound like a “no-brainer,” but it’s something to think about. When you’re rejected, you don’t want it to turn into an issue of low self-esteem and hopelessness. Think about how you react to rejection and catch yourself when you’re having negative feelings, reflecting on them and figuring out if they’re in your favor or not.
#3 Get another perspective. You saw what happened to you, but you don’t know the other side of the story. Maybe getting another perspective by someone that knows both of you, will help you understand why you were rejected. There are two sides to every coin and right now, you’re only seeing one of them. [Read: How to stop being selfish, and stop using and hurting others]
#4 It’s not about who you are, it’s about what you’re doing. Listen, this rejection may not necessarily be because of you, but rather your actions. If you’re making someone uncomfortable, then their initial response is to reject you and remove themselves from this feeling. The behaviors may be minimal but to that person, it’s a turn-off.
#5 Take something positive from the rejection. Sure, the rejection sucked and bruised your ego, but look at the rejection in a positive way. I know that sounds impossible, but hear me out. Maybe this rejection will help you avoid mistakes in the future or gave you a way of handling your emotions.
#6 You have to let yourself feel bad. When you’re trying to understand how to deal with rejection from friends, don’t suppress your emotions and let them eat you from the inside. It’s the 21st century, we have to progress as people. Instead, let yourself feel every emotion that hits you. But, don’t let these emotions overcome you. Feel them, process them, and then move on. [Read: 15 signs you have shitty friends and need to get some new ones]
#7 Talk it out with a third-party. There’s nothing wrong with talking to someone who isn’t involved in the situation. Talking to a therapist, for example, is a great way to get an unbiased perspective on a situation. Maybe you did say or do something that this person didn’t like. A third-party will be able to give you a broad view of the situation. [Read: How to get over a friend when you just want them back]
#8 It’s easy to get sucked into negative thoughts. It’s so easy for us to get into self-pity and sadness, and though you’re going to feel these emotions, don’t get stuck in them. Feel them, process them, and then keep moving on. If not, these negative emotions will suck you in.
#9 Spend time with other friends and family. You have other friends and family who love you and want to be around you. Go hang out with those people. You need to remind yourself that you’re not alone and though you were rejected, there are other people that would love to spend time with you.
#10 Remind yourself of the good things in your life. Your entire life is not in shambles now that this person rejected your friendship. Everything else in your life is still happening. Your dog is alive, your parents are healthy, and you love your job.
See, things aren’t as bad as they seem in this moment. You’re hurt and sad, so, you’re probably only focusing on the bad, but now you need to see the good. [Read: 20 things in your life you don’t appreciate enough]
#11 Go out, don’t close yourself off from the world. Don’t do what I did. Okay, but at the same time, there will be moments when you want to stay at home and feel sorry for yourself. I totally get it.
You should take some time for yourself. If you want to stay at home and watch a movie, do it. But, don’t let this become an unhealthy routine. In other words, leave your house eventually.
#12 Write down your feelings. This is one of the most cathartic ways to express yourself. You don’t need to send a letter to your former friend, but you should write down how you feel. You’ll feel so much better once you get everything out on paper. Oh, and say everything, don’t let one thought go unwritten.
#13 Put it all into practice. First, learn from this experience, but more than that, change your behavior. If you realized that you did something wrong then you should work on improving yourself. That takes practice, but if you really want to be a better version of you, then do it. [Read: 15 qualities of a good friend that sets them apart]
#14 Treat yourself with compassion. We have a tendency to be hard on ourselves and usually for things that aren’t that big of a deal. I mean, we’re not throwing guilt on ourselves for not recycling, which is much more important than you eating gluten. You get what I mean? It’s truly a learning experience, so give yourself some extra love during this time.
#15 Learn from the rejection. You were rejected, and it hurt like hell but are you going to take anything from this experience? I mean, you just spent the last couple of months sad, so, hopefully, you walked out of the experience at least learning some sort of lesson. Grow from your struggles rather than pretending as if nothing happened. [Read: 15 clear signs it’s time to cut a friend loose]
#16 With time, see if you can rekindle the relationship. Or maybe not. I don’t know what happened between you and your friend(s), but maybe they’re complete assholes. In that case, screw them. You’re better off without them.
But maybe you did something that hurt the friendship but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to mend it. Give some space and when you’re ready, see if you can fix things.
Knowing how to deal with rejection from friends isn’t as easy as it sounds. But, you can and will move past this. It’s just going to take some time.