I hate to break it to you. If you were looking for this article, you are probably already seeing the signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend.
Catching onto the signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend is not that hard. Chances are you already know.
When someone is showing signs they don’t want to be your friend they usually want to be polite about it, but that is not always effective at hiding their intent. There are a lot of signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend, so they are not that hard to spot.
Why are you looking for signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend?
Let’s get this out of the way right now. Why are you looking for these signs? Is someone in your life showing signs you think match these?
Do you think no one wants to be your friend? Is this about one person specifically or are self-esteem problems leading you here? [Read: How these signs of low self-esteem can sabotage your life]
Even the nicest and most deserving people cannot be friends with everyone. No matter what you do, some people just do not want to be your friend. We must accept that fact. Plus, as you know, it is about the quality, not the quantity when it comes to friends.
And if someone is showing these signs they don’t want to be your friend, you don’t want to be friends with them anyway. You deserve friends you don’t have to wow or convince to befriend you, but who simply likes you.
So try not to take any of these signs too personally. Learn to believe in yourself. Know that self-respect and knowing there are people that do want to be your friend is what is important. Confidence and self-assurance will remind you that it does not matter if someone doesn’t want to be your friend.
Ask yourself, would you want to be your friend? If the answer is yes, other people will see that and want to be too. If not, that lack of self-love may be what is turning people off. [Read: How to build your self-esteem and love your life]
Signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend
Seeing the signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend sucks. No one wants that. But that is the way of the world. People do not want to be cruel or come right out and say those words, so they hint at it and hope you will read through the lines.
This list will help you do just that.
#1 They barely reply. When someone is showing signs they don’t want to be your friend, they will do it by doing nothing. When you reach out, they won’t reply unless you are asking a specific question.
Maybe they will reply about work or school but not about anything else. They might like your message instead of actually answering and they won’t try or want to carry out a conversation. [Read: When you should unfriend bad friends in your life]
#2 They cancel plans. If you make plans, they almost always cancel. You might wonder why they would agree to plans in the first place. Well, maybe you made plans in person and they didn’t want to upset you when they could see your response.
Instead, they will cancel plans, often times right beforehand. And if this becomes a pattern, it is a not just one of the subtle signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend, but a flashing neon sign.
#3 You always reach out first. If someone never texts you first, they do not want to be your friend. Someone that wants to be your friend will reach out. They will ask you how you are, they will make plans, and share things.
When someone is trying to be nice they will reply, but never make the first move.
#4 They give short answers. When someone isn’t interested in a conversation, they reply with short or one-word answers. They essentially want the conversation to end, so they will put the least amount of effort in as possible.
If someone simply replies to your messages with LOL or yup, they are not interested in a friendship and are probably hoping you will take a hint. [Read: Ghosting a friend and 10 scenarios where it’s okay to do it]
#5 They are always busy. Sure, some people are actually just busy, but if this person never ever makes time with you or for you, they are showing signs they don’t want to be your friend. Even someone who says they want to be your friend doesn’t mean it if they can’t make time for you.
#6 They are ghosting you. ALERT, ALERT! If someone is just not answering you at all, they are showing signs they do not want to be your friend. And they are not being subtle about it.
Yes, they are being cruel and a bit of a coward. If someone is your friend they will answer you. [Read: Understanding what ghosting is and how it impacts you]
#7 You’re putting all the effort in. If you notice you are the only one putting in the effort, then they are someone that doesn’t want to be your friend. It doesn’t mean you suck or you don’t deserve their friendship. To be honest, it is probably more about them than it is you. A friendship is two-sided, not one-sided.
#8 Things don’t line up. If they told you they can’t hang out because they are sick, but you see them out on social media they are probably lying to you. They want to let you down easy. But they also aren’t trying hard enough to ensure you don’t find out they are lying.
They want you to figure things out by reading between the lines. And that is what you are doing right now.
#9 They don’t follow you on social media. If you follow them and they do not follow you, that is not a good sign. In fact, it is one of the signs someone doesn’t want to be friends. And it is a clear one.
With the hundreds of “friends” you probably have online, but barely talk to, someone not wanting to be your friend online cannot make it any more obvious that they do not want to be your friend at all. [Read: 18 insightful reasons why you don’t have many friends]
#10 Plans are cut short. Last time I had a friend try to subtly dump me, so to speak, this is what happened regularly. Every time we made plans to hang out, we would, but not for long.
We would go to the mall to shop. Normally we would make our rounds and go eat and shop a bit more. But the last few times we would go to one or two stores and she would say she had to go for some vague reason or another. [Read: All the reasons why people ditch flaky friends]
#11 They don’t ask you anything. When someone wants to be a friend or even an acquaintance, they ask you questions. How are you? What did you do this weekend? Even strangers ask these questions.
So, if this person never asks you anything, they are showing signs they do not want to be your friend.
#12 They give you specific advice. This is one that can actually be hard to see sometimes. And I am sorry to say, in the past, I have actually done this to someone that I didn’t want to be friends with.
I told them that it was healthier for them and they would be stronger if they stopped relying on me and talking to me. They were smothering me in a creepy way. I am not saying it was right for me to do this, but I had tried everything. I even said I cannot be friends with you. They continued to message me.
Even after this, they kept at it for a while. So if someone is trying to tell you that being their friend is not good for you, believe them. It is not good for you.
With all this being said, if you see the signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend, believe them and move on. You don’t want to be friends with someone that doesn’t want to be friends with you.