Everyone is capable of love, but not everyone is so great at showing it. This is how to show someone you love them in a genuine way.
Showing love is not as simple as saying, “I love you.” That can’t hurt, but showing love versus telling love is the difference between a good relationship and a great relationship. Showing love comes in many forms from listening to intimacy, and from making time to compromising. There are limitless ways to know how to show someone you love them. [Read: The heartfelt signs it’s the right time to tell someone you love them]
Show someone you love them with love languages
If you have never heard of the five love languages, this is a great place to start when it comes to knowing how to show someone you love them.
Everyone speaks with different love languages. The five love languages are:
#1 Words of affirmation
#2 Acts of service
#3 Receiving gifts
#4 Quality time
#5 Physical touch
Everyone feels and receives love differently. So knowing which love language you and your partner primarily use is important to show love to them in a way they will understand.
For instance, words of affirmation is not something that I take as a sign of love. I have been lied to a lot in past relationships so if someone wanted to show me love, telling me nice things wouldn’t mean much to me. However, spending quality time with me is my prime love language.
You can take a quick quiz online to find out what your and your partner’s love language is and go from there. Once you know what means the most to your partner, you can show love through those methods. [Read: What makes a good relationship?]
How to show someone you love them
On top of love languages, there is a lot that goes into showing someone you love them. Everything from making them dinner to fixing the toilet can be ways to show someone you love them.
So, if you are concerned that your actions aren’t portraying your feelings properly, take these tips into consideration. Soon your partner will know for sure that you love them.
#1 Support. Support is a major player is showing someone you love them. A lack of support shows a lack of love. Now support does not mean you have to agree with everything your loved one is doing. What it does mean is that you share your hesitations, but at the end of the day, you let them make their own choices.
You may not think that your girlfriend starting a business is the best idea, but once you discuss it and make your worries known and she still decides to go ahead, you support her. You are there for her when she needs you and you cheer her on. [Read: The signs a partner is supportive of your goals]
#2 Respect. Respect is the foundation of any relationship. If you do not respect someone, you do not value their opinions or even their existence. And without that, there is nothing.
So if you want to know how to show someone you love them, make it clear you respect them. Don’t write off their ideas. Listen and hear them out. Have conversations, don’t shut them down. Respect needs to be mutual. [Read: How self-respect impacts your relationship]
#3 Listen. Love can be misconstrued. You may think that by taking action, you are proving your love, but love does not need proof, it needs care. And it is a lot more caring to listen to someone and let them vent than it is to take care of their problems for them.
A sign that someone loves and cares is to be a good listener. Hear your loved ones when they speak. Sometimes just listening is enough. [Read: The art of being a better listener in your relationship]
#4 Communicate. This is another vital part when it comes to learning how to show someone you love them. And communication does not mean simply telling someone you love them, but communicating with all of your feelings, even the less than fun ones.
When you love someone you trust them, so nothing is off the table. You have to communicate when things are going wrong, when you’re upset, and when things are wonderful. Ongoing communication is the pulse of maintaining a loving relationship and without it, the relationship can be doomed.
#5 Help. Help is something some relationships lack. And what does that mean? Well, once a relationship has gotten comfortable and each partner has found their place, it seems helping one another takes a back seat.
This help can be something as small as offering to carry groceries or making dinner to working on your partner’s resume with them. Offering help is more than a small gesture. It shows you pay attention and want to assist your loved one. Plus, it gives you more time together. [Read: The 25 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]
#6 Compromise. Compromise is something so many people overlook when it comes to love. There is a misconception that love means giving up anything for this person. But in a functioning relationship, love means discussion and agreement.
In order to show someone you love them, you do not need to move to their city, quit your job, change your style, and alter your life. That is not love. That is a sure-fire journey to resentment town. Love is meeting halfway. You both give a little to get a lot. [Read: Compromise in relationships and how to give without losing]
#7 Appreciate. This is probably the easiest and one of the most direct ways to show someone you love them. Show them that they are appreciated. Whether that means bringing home flowers, going out of your way to pick up their favorite dessert, or watching their favorite show that you hate, it shows appreciation.
And above giving gifts, saying thank you is so important. Not saying thank you for a gift or for being there in your time of need may seem like a small oversight, but lacking those small words can be perceived as taking someone for granted. [Read: How to be grateful for things you don’t appreciate enough in life]
#8 Touch. Love is not all about sex, but intimacy is so vital to showing love in a romantic relationship. Everything from a brush against their shoulder, placing their hair behind their ear, to a hug after a long day makes a world of difference.
When those small moments of tender touch are gone, all the other parts of a relationship have more pressure put on them. But what is so amazing is that a fight can end with something as simple as a hug.
Making sure you give your partner a kiss before work, a cuddle on the sofa, and even a love tap while they make dinner shows love. [Read: 20 types of physical touches and what each touch means]
#9 Ask. Sometimes, when we love someone, it seems all about telling them. It seems to be about helping them, offering, giving, but asking is another way to show someone you love them. Asking your partner how their day was, how their mom is, or even what they did with their friends shows you’re interested.
You do not need to be nosy and ask about everything but a simple, “how was your day, dear?” will suffice.
#10 Laugh. Laughter is something that cannot be replaced by anything else. Laughing together and making each other smile is something relationships thrive on. Of course, laughter is only one of many ways to show someone you love them. Along with everything else, it makes such a difference.
You could show someone you love them with every action on this list, but if you are lacking humor in your relationship you will both feel a bit, well, blah. [Read: The types of humor and their impact on a relationship]
#11 Discuss it. Finally, if you have tried all of these methods to show someone you love them and they still don’t seem to see it or feel it, talk to them about it. Bringing it up is a great way to show them you love them and you are willing to try whatever it takes to makes sure they know it.
Ask them what they need from you in order to feel loved. This can open your eyes in ways you couldn’t even imagine. Everyone feels love differently. Whether they had issues in past relationships or with family, they can really clue you in on what they feel is lacking or needed from you.
It does not have to be hard to figure out how to show someone you love them. When you love someone and mean it, all of these things should come naturally.